Testicle Festival Cancelled Amid Publicity Issues

In what could possibly constitute the strangest news of the day, it’s come to our attention that the world-famous Testicle Festival (which, full-disclosure we just heart about) has been cancelled. So, if you’re a fan of testes, you may have missed the boat on this one.

Typically, animal testes are batter-fried and served, oh, and there’s a lot of beer.

According to The Missoulian, Rock Creek Lodge owner Matt Powers has pulled the plug on the annual event for multiple reasons. This is due to drop in attendance over the years as well as a string of negative publicity over the years. This transpired from crowds that were wildly out of contol while drunk and rowdy, leading to several stabbings, arrests, and even deaths.

The most recent of these occurred at last year when a man that was expelled from “Testy Fest” grabbed the wheel of the shuttle bus he was on, causing it to roll. Two were killed and seven injured as a result, and the man responsible is currently on trial.

“At the end of the day I have to be able to hold my head up and be proud of how I make my living,” Powers told the Mizzoulian, “something that can clearly no longer happen at the Testicle Festival.”