Celebrate A Very Merry Vegetarian Christmas This Year
Christmas is usually spent devouring food along with your family and friends. It is the perfect opportunity to bite down on a juicy chicken drumstick or carve up a piece from the beautiful whole turkey. The festival of giving gifts usually turns into a festival of who can finish up the whole roast chicken first. Although there is an elaborate feast of whatever your heart desires cooked up to perfection, a specific group of people always feel left out during this exercise of biting into a leg or a thigh, the vegetarians. They can usually be spotted on the dinner table with a solemn look on their face trying to pick apart a bunch of peas on their plate or trying to muster a smile while scooping up a spoonful of mashed potatoes. Unfortunately, those are usually the only vegetarian dishes on the menu.
Yes, people don’t usually consider these poor souls or their beliefs of trying to do good for the nature or their care for animals rights. After all, they say it is their choice to forego the happiness which comes from biting into well-cooked meat. But, at the end of the day, everyone cares for such people, especially during the holidays, and the ability to whip up something that could satisfy their taste buds and keep them on the same wave length as the meat eaters is crucial in calming down the incessant whining that occurs during Christmas lunch or dinner.
If you are a vegetarian and reading this, our apologies for their brash attitude towards you. We do love you and care about the fact that you should spend the same amount of time enjoying the holidays as the non-vegetarians. We want to include you in their festivities and damn it, we will give you the best Christmas you’ll ever experience and help you survive the attack of the well-cooked birds all around you.
Hey, non-veggies, we have some things to say to you
1. Don’t worry, the stuffing doesn’t contain any meat or hasn’t been inside any meat. We have told the non-vegetarians to consider your beliefs and they have made some considerations for you by making a strictly vegetarian stuffing which you can safely consume. We have given them our own personal recipe for a classic bread stuffing.
2. Don’t worry, the gravy doesn’t have meat broth or meat trimmings. See, we are trying to completely revamp the traditional Christmas gravy just for you. The non-vegetarians have told us that they will include this “abomination” (their own words) as part of the Christmas dinner. Now, you can enjoy a delicious gravy on top of your mashed potatoes for that lovely flavour. We have emailed this recipe to all the non-vegetarians.
3. Don’t worry, the pie doesn’t contain any eggs. Although we were pushing it a little bit with this one because,traditionally, pies require atleast some variation of eggs incorporated in them. The non-vegetarians, as sweet as they are, are willing to compromise for this with a special Moroccan spiced pie, just for you. Have you noticed the amount of care they are showing? It really is all about the Christmas spirit. Beautiful.
4. Don’t worry, the ravioli doesn’t contain any meat. The Italians rolled over in their grave when we asked them to include a ravioli dish as part of the Christmas menu, just for you. It’s a Christmas miracle that they didn’t bury us in that same grave. They have agreed to make this variation of ravioli which suits your vegetarian needs.
5. Don’t worry the meat loaf doesn’t contain any meat. We tried to explain to the non-vegetarians that loafs can be made with vegetables. When we presented them a recipe for a lentil loaf, they gave us a look that we don’t care to mention to you just to keep up with the happiness of the holidays. We fought for you, trust us.
6. Don’t worry, there will be no roast turkey or roast chicken. The non-vegetarians asked us to stuff it. Sorry.