7 Indescribable Things About French Fries!

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You can’t go wrong with batons of deep-fried potatoes. Or can you? That depends. Is it cold and bendy? Is it julienned into thin shoestring fries or the thick steakhouse variety or cut into circular curly fries? Is it too salty? Is it fried or baked? Wait, this is the only question you need to answer. Is it French?

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French Fries are not essentially French. Sorry, your whole life is a lie. *Cue scary music* They are Belgian. No, they are really Spanish. However, a bunch of jingoistic Belgians with their animal grunts and the French folks with their stache wax and Gallic shrugs are still fighting for the coveted first spot. But then the Americans interrupted and put an end to it by saying “Guys, let’s call it finger chips and stop quarrelling.” Not really. This ludicrous attempt to rename and rebrand the classic fries made the Americans look like elephant patootie. So the two countries never settled the issue. If a Belgian and a French person ever came face to face, they start fencing with French fries. They start frenching. No, that sounds wrong.

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Antoine-Augustin Parmentier was the founding father of Fries, who was a Frenchman. He was the vocal promoter of the potato as a food source for humans in France and throughout Europe. He was a health enthusiast whose poignant speeches about tubers and nutrition paved the way for the establishment of the first mandatory small-pox vaccination campaign. “Potatoes are how you say this, fantastico!” He must’ve been really picky as a kid “I wanth only taters. I’m noth eathing oderwise.” So if you ever chance upon his ghost, thank him for fries and then vaccines, in that order. Yes, he is holding a corn bouquet but he is definitely writing about potatoes.

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Thomas Jefferson was the first fry cook in America. He had a French Chef assist him though. I don’t buy it. The American president introduced the elongated crispy sticks of potatoes and rightfully crowned them the king of their diet. “You shall be one of the reasons for obesity.” he proclaimed loudly at the White House dinner in 1802. No, he didn’t say those exact words. He may have said those words. You’ll never know.

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Belgians went a little overboard after the fry discourse and built a museum for it. Frietmuseum in Bruges, Belgium, is the shrine of French fries and sprawls across two floors with three sections. The first section explains the origins of the spud, the second is all about fries and its controversial history and the third is for snacking and sampling.

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 Did you know French fries are a source of fiber, Potassium, and Vitamin B6? Additional fact- Potatoes fry faster in space. 

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Ever heard of potato parties? No?  Well this is how you throw one.

  • Go to the nearest McDonald’s and order monumental amount of fries.
  • Buy tubes of ketchup for this carb-feast
  • Invite your friends (not your mom)

It is popular in Japan and South Korea. It all happened on a sunny October morning in Japan. Japanese McDonald’s stores held a sale on French fries and a handful of pubescent teenagers leapt at the opportunity to win a place in the Japanese edition of the Guinness world records. They took a photo to commemorate this odd event and posted it on twitter which was then re-tweeted several thousand times.

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That’s all about the delicate delicacy folks!

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