Halloween’s just rounding the corner, and needless to say, the coming weekend is going to be a trick-o-treat gala. For the young ‘uns at least. Having said that, are you ready with some actually good stuff to give or are you just going to rely on good ol’ Halloween treats and candies? If you nodded at the latter, then prepare yourself for a savage moment of truth as chef Gordon Rasmsay picks out the five treats to NOT give away on Halloween. The chef was on Jimmy Kimmel’s show last night, and here’s what he thinks are the absolute worst Halloween treats:
Chef Ramsay finally puts forth what a lot of people think about this signature Halloween candy. “It’s not candy, it’s not corn, it’s ear wax formed in the shape of a rotten tooth.” Not so appetizing now, are they?
Image: Huffington Post
Now many of you may go “woah, what?!”, but here’s what Ramsay has to say: “Seriously, the perfect combination of aspirin and Tums. Smarties are for f*cking dummies.” Umm, okay… *wipes blood from ears*
Yay! Fat-free, ‘major allergens-free’ peanut shaped marshmallow candies! Nothing could possibly go wrong with this one, right? Wrong. Gordon Ramsay argues that Circus Peanuts are not candies at all, but in fact clown feces. “How f*ckin’ sad are they? You know what Circus Peanuts are? Clown s*it!” *throws up a little*
Image: Troyer’s Country Market
Although we were too afraid to hear out Ramsay’s views on the innocent fuit, we did anyway. And here’s what he thinks about giving out apples for trick-o-treat: “Do I look like a f*ckin’ teacher, mate? Let me give you a lesson; go buy some proper f*cking candy.” To be fair, we do agree with the man. Who gives out apples? Except for cavity-fearing paranoid folk, that is.
“In 2016 you’re still giving out f*cking pennies! F*ck off!” Frankly, if someone gave me a penny on Halloween, I’d throw it back at their face. Along with some rocks and stones. I’m not a wishing pond, for crying out loud!
So now you know that the candies are all earwax and poop, while the apples are for teacher and pennies outdated. Now get off that couch and stock up on some GOOD treats! Oh and, Happy Halloween y’all!
Feature Image: ET Canada